Sometimes it seems that these modern times are set up to disconnect us from our sensuality. Fast paced life, hours on the computer, never-ending to do lists...all these things can take us into our heads and out of our body, and thus away from intimacy and pleasure.
It can feel like we are chasing intimacy and pleasure or that we have given up on it all together. But underneath we long to feel alive, connected and juicy.
One of the main traps I have both personally experienced and witnessed in my work is thinking that pleasure is somewhere out there. Something that we want but don’t have. Maybe it’s those delicious orgasms you read about or the promise of mindblowing sex if you try out some “hot new techniques.” Maybe it’s a desire to feel beautiful turned into a longing for some new clothes.
Now all of these things could bring you a lot of pleasure, however it can be easy to get fixated on an idea that pleasure is in the future, when in fact:
Pleasure is in the moment. Pleasure is in sensations. The touch of fabric on your skin, a delicious bite of food, the caress of the wind on your cheek...
In order to experience pleasure you need to be in the moment, and in your body.
This is where the magic of sensuality enters. I like to think of cultivating sensuality as a gateway into sexual + life fulfillment. Sensuality is a practice of relating to the world, in which everything becomes an opportunity for presence, and pleasure. Sensuality takes us into the body, into our senses, and into a more expanded state of communion with all things.
Here are three simple practices to help connect you to your sensuality right now:
Touch your body
Try doing this in a non-goal oriented way. So often when we self pleasure we rush towards the finish line, anticipating the sensations of orgasm. How would it feel to explore every part of your body with complete presence, and no agenda? Try setting a timer (and a sexy space) for 15 minutes of unconditional, self loving touch.
2. Follow sensations, not your mind.
This is a powerful practice in any kind of erotic encounter, (and the above practice!) as well as in all of your life. You can practice this at the grocery store, while eating or brushing your teeth. Simply bring your awareness to the sensations present in your body. Whenever you notice your mind wandering (which it will), just come back to the sensations. The more you practice this, the more it will become your reality!
3. Commit to a personal pleasure practice
This could be self pleasure, or carving out time for you to do something you KNOW makes you feel good and brings you pleasure. Pleasure doesn’t have to fall in the sexual category. Things like going on walks, swimming, or spending time in nature could bring you pleasure. Tune into what makes you feel good and then make sure you have time to prioritize that!
If you want to cultivate even more sensuality and pleasure in your life and receive the support of a powerful group of womxn practicing alongside you: I am opening enrollment for my newest course: The Wild Feminine: An 8 Week Journey of Embodied Awakening, where we will use pleasure, sensuality and wildness as a gateways into embodiment and deep self love.