Last night I had a dream that I was involved in a relay race to try and stop Trump from being president. I was teamed up with Jack, a boy I went to waldorf school with whom I had a huge crush on in sixth grade, and our mission was to stop *Trump by collecting as much dry oatmeal as possible and then dumping it out at preselected stations along a path. It was so stressful! Because I was trying to dump out the dry oats so fast, I barely had enough time to fill my vessel for more. I kept spilling the oats everywhere and it ended up taking much longer than I had hoped - in fact, the more I struggled to be quick, the longer it seemed to take and the more frustrated I became.
After I woke up, a little disgruntled, I sat down for my morning meditation practice, which helped me to smooth and embrace some of the waves of agitation moving through my body from the dream. I then climbed back into bed with my lover for some snuggles. We began to explore sensually and as the energy began to build, I noticed that I was still feeling tight in my body - I was yearning to make love and feel connected but I felt just a bit ahead of myself. I was reaching for a state that I had pictured ideally in my mind, and forgetting about what my body needed in that moment to get there. When I let him enter me, the muscles in my vagina were tight and contracted, not fully open. My partner, sensing this, actually lost his arousal! As we laid there, holding each other I realized that attempting to achieve a certain state sexually that I was not actually ready for actually lessened the potential for intimacy between me and my partner - which is truly what I was craving.
Back to the dream. As I feel into the messaging of this dream I understand how trying, in a rushed way, to achieve something - whether that is stopping Trump or having truly satisfying lovemaking, was putting me farther from the result I craved. This is because I was coming from a disconnected state, I had lost my presence in the desire for a certain outcome.
Enter the medicine of slowing down. Sometimes it is so hard! Here is a common fear for me: what if I slow down and nothing happens? What if I don’t get what I want?
But more and more I discover this secret:
What I deeply want is presence.
And the deepest intimacy lies within presence.
What I want is already here, in every moment. It just takes slowing down enough to enter that moment and become fully aware of it. It becomes a receiving, rather than a trying, and finally, my vessel is able to be filled.
Stay tuned and please let me know if you have any ideas on how to apply this to political situations!